Reply to S/o another finances & step parent Q

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. We are not married but we’re in a very serious, committed relationship. It’s much more solid than my actual marriage was.

We’re planning to stay together the rest of our lives so, unlike the other OP, I do consider his kids family and vice versa.[/quote]

This feels really relevant to me.  I’m certainly not saying that your partner should be EXPECTED to give money for your daughter’s education, but certainly it’s worth having a conversation with him about the different financial circumstances of your children and how you both want to handle and/or message that to all the kids - both yours and his. That might mean sharing the burden for all of the kids to have a similar educational opportunity, or it might mean having family conversations quite early about the resources available to each kids and alternative ways that the family can help support the less financed child.

Frankly, it seems like the think that that OP in the other thread did strangely was to marry someone when her daughter was 12 and never meaningfully incorporate her daughter into the new family.  It feels needlessly cruel to a young child and might explain some of the way that daughter is currently behaving.[/quote]

Sharing the burden for all of the kids???  The fact that OP’s boyfriend doesn’t want to marry and they keep separate finances speaks volumes about how he feels about providing for OP’s child.  OP needs to rely on her ex to pay for her child’s care, not her boyfriend.  And if OP wants to purchase real estate, she should buy it.  She should also pay rent to her boyfriend.  The best way to start chipping away at your relationship is for OP’s boyfriend to start feeling like an ATM.  [/quote]

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