Reply to I feel very unappreciated as a mother

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think this is just how it is. It can get a little better but generally the moms end up doing more and just bullshit. I’m married to a good guy who helps but doesn’t even know that half the things I do are jobs. 90% of the people I know complain about this regardless if they work out of the home. The ones who can afford a lot of help complain less. We have tried making lists, therapy, weekly meetings to divide up chores. I’ve tried to just let balls drop but ultimately some things just need to get done. Our country isn’t set up for true partnership and it often falls on the mother. I’m happy to hear suggestions but let’s everyone not beat up on OP. This is hardly a problem limited to her and her marriage. [/quote]

+1 Great comment

So often these conversations devolve into telling a woman she’s just not managing her husband correctly, or she should have married someone better, and it’s so unproductive. I think if we could all collectively acknowledge that this is a systemic problem that will not be resolved for the vast majority of women until we make systemic changes to our work culture, the way we value care work, our childcare system, etc.

If you feel like you have figured this out, chances are you are privileged in a way others are not, whether it’s with money, a supportive extended family, or something else. That’s not a knock on you or doesn’t mean you don’t work hard to make your life work, but before you give OP or anyone advice on this, you might ask yourself if the perceived equality in your marriage would be possible without a maid, nanny, the unpaid labor of your mom or MIL, or other benefit that not everyone (in fact very few people) have access to.[/quote]

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