Reply to I feel very unappreciated as a mother

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My husband has no idea how much I handle, take care of, anticipate for our family. Doctors appts, diapers, food in fridge, gifts for bday parties, age appropriate toys, swimming lessons...it all just magically happens and appears...not. It’s because I research, plan, execute, and manage.

Hardly any of these things go noticed. I’d like some acknowledgment and thanks for what I do.

Yet the second I forget something or do something wrong...he is the first to jump on me for it.

I know I’m a great mom and I have a wonderful relationship with my children. I adore them! But it’s so tiresome for all my work to go unnoticed- as if it’s expected that those things are what I, alone, should be doing. Fwiw, I’m not a sahm. I’m actually the breadwinner, but that’s for another post. It feels so hypocritical and frankly pisses me the F off that I get no thanks or attention for all that I do....but god forbid I get something wrong...[/quote]

I don't know your husband so I don't know if there is any way to make him do anything.

I would like to propose a new strategy for you to make you feel better.

Try seeing things that you do as their own reward as opposed to something you do for him that needs his appreciation.

Did you arrange swimming lessons? Great. Your reward is that your children will be able to swim and also the joyful moments of watching them in the water.

Did you buy developmentally appropriate toys? Great.  Your reward is that your children have something to play with that they like.

Do you buy groceries?  Great.  Your reward is the feeling of satisfaction that your family eats well and that your fridge is full.

What I'm suggesting is that you disengage from needing anything, emotionally, from your husband. Because presently you need something from him and you are upset when that something isn't forthcoming.  See these things as having their own intrinsic rewards.  If these rewards are enough for you, do them.  If not, drop them. [/quote]

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