Reply to “It’s not my fault you guys got divorced!”

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Reply to "“It’s not my fault you guys got divorced!”"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My dad cheated on my mom, and then ended up marrying the woman he cheated with. She was the mother of our neighborhood playmates if you can believe it. I was also 12.

I always knew why my parents divorced. My mom told us repeatedly that she had no choice in the matter and wanted to stay married, but our dad refused.

For me at least, none of this was particularly interesting at the time and I didn’t really care why they divorced or who was at fault.

Now as an adult I’m even less interested, and as I’ve learned more about my parents marriage it just becomes more and more complex. There’s no clear good guy or bad guy, despite my dad openly admitting his infidelity. Yes, my dad cheated. But my mom also cheated too, she just hid it better. She reconciled with a high school boyfriend almost IMMEDIATELY after she and my dad separated and other relatives have told me their high school relationship never fully ended and she was seeing him all throughout my parent’s 15 year marriage. Is it true? Maybe. Maybe not. But it’s been 30 freaking years now and it really doesn’t matter who is at fault for the divorce at this point. I assume my parent’s marriage was a personal, complicated thing. They both married very young. I’ll never really know all the details nor do I want or need to.

My point is, even if you told your kid or he knew, and even when he comes to know later in life, it won’t make any difference. He will still be angry and frustrated with the situation and it will still suck for him. And don’t assume he’s going to be all that interested in the story of your marriage. Also don’t assume he will be on your side.[/quote]

You make some good points but this is a *very* different set of facts. I hope OP knows that your feelings don’t really apply to her situation. [/quote]

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