Reply to Messed up marrying the wrong guy, where to go from here

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Please do him a huge favor and divorce him[/quote]

I have actually said to him "I don't think I can be a good wife to you because I don't respect you" but he says he does NOT want a divorce. He thinks I should lower my expectations. [/quote]

I mean, duh?   What do you expect him to say?  “Yes, honey, that’s a great idea.  Let’s break up our family because you find me contemptible!”  Are you waiting for him to agree to the plan to move forward with it?

I would caution you on your expectations for a new partnership though.  If you think your life will be better without him than with him, divorce makes sense, but [b]if you need a new partner to be happy, you may very well be disappointed.  Plus you risk a lot of instability in your dd’s life.[/b]  [/quote]

I value relationship very much, which is why my disappointment in my marriage is so hard to live with. And yes, I am worried about instability in my DD's life and unrealistic expectations on my side. That is what I am weighing here. On the flip side I don't want to waste my life feeling like I am missing out on something so important to me (a good marriage) because I am afraid to make a change. [/quote]
When you have a kid, at some point, it's not just about you.  Sure, if  your DH was a total jerk and abusive, there is no question about divorce.

But if he's not earning as much as you think he should, then that's not really reason enough to upend your DD's life, IMO.[/quote]

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