Reply to Managing parents expectations about alone time with granddaughter

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would just back your wife up. If she doesn't feel comfortable leaving the baby with them, just say "Oh, we're just going to take the baby with us today! We want her to get out a bit." If your parents complain, tell them you are just doing what is right for your family.

You already said your wife's anxiety about this isn't going to magically resolve in the next few weeks. Well even if it did, this ia not a great way to test it! Just back your wife up, tell her whatever she is comfortable with is fine with you, and run some interference with your parents if necessary. But you can't go wrong just siding with your wife. You don't have to broker a deal with your parents here. You have a baby under the age of 1 and a first time mom who is dealing with some very normal first time mom issues, exacerbated by a damn pandemic. Just support her. Her needs come first.

[b]No one ever wants to hear this because people crap on moms all the time and everyone thinks you're doing it wrong, but honestly, if you just love and support the mother of your child and listen to her, it helps address like 70% of the mental health issues of those early years of mothering. I truly believe a lot fewer women would even report symptoms of PPD or PPA if they just got the support they needed instead of constantly being expected to accommodate everyone else's needs, plus care for their baby.[/b] [/quote]

I agree with this all heartily. I look back at my first two babies and wonder WHY THE HELL I agreed to all that I did. We went to Busch Gardens when I was 3 weeks postpartum and I remember just bleeding nonstop (it was too much activity for me) and baby was crying from being so hot and sweaty. We went to appease inlaws. I remember staying at inlaws houses without rocking chairs and my babies just screaming and I had little to no way to comfort them.

I'm pregnant now and dh keeps talking about all the trips we'll take on maternity leave. I nipped it in the bud. He keeps saying how portable newborns are. I said yes, but when I'm up all night breastfeeding, I feel like shit, am tired, and I don't want to take any trips. I want to relax and snuggle the last baby I'm ever going to have. Our guest room is open to people who want to see the baby. I'm just not traveling postpartum. I definitely feel like I set myself on fire to keep everyone warm before and it exacerbated my PPD. [/quote]

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