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[quote=Anonymous]One of my closest friend's daughter, and one of my daughter's best friends, sounds very similar to your daughter. Be honest, did she have similar behavior as a toddler/preschooler, but it was cute and sassy then? Especially because your son is so different, I think this is a mix of temperament and learned behavior. I watched my friend let her daughter get away with "cute" defiance and back talking from day one, and it's gotten worse and worse over the years. When she was 3-4 it sounded like cute, precocious, snappy come backs to her parents ("yeah, I don't think so mom!" with her hands on her hips as a toddler was cute!), but now as an elementary school aged daughter the SAME behavior that was cute is now just plain rude and she's getting a manipulative mean kid streak.

Asking all of this because if she really did learn that it was okay to talk that way, then it's unfair to suddenly ask her to behave totally different, or even know what polite behavior really is. I'd make it a whole family change and frame it as something everyone is going to start working on and holding each other accountable for. Come up with a home covenant and review it and stick to it. Make sure she understands that you have to practice kind behavior at home so that you know how to be kind to people at school, church, soccer, etc. Start modeling please and thank you's consistently, then correct yourself when you forget them. Be consistent and let her see you make mistakes and correct them. It's a long process, but you are totally right that it will just continue to get worse.[/quote]

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