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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Everyone has an opinion. Whether a guy doesn’t make enough money or come from the right family or a woman is not very smart. Everyone is allowed to feel disappointment. No one is perfect. That doesn’t mean the child is not loved. What a strange thread.

I am Ivy educated and professionally successful. I married well and have a beautiful family. My parents love my DH and proud of us.

My BIL has mental illness and has been on off unemployed and stresses out my parents. They love him and worry about him all the time.

I will accept the spouse my children choose but I am entitled to my opinion. At the end, we just want what is best for our children.[/quote]

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but parents often express disapproval but not love. It is very alienating to feel like you are not accepted or welcomed in your own family. Parents who treat their adult children like failures because they did not live up to their specific expectations are making a choice to alienate their children. And they often do it because they have pinned their own hopes for happiness or satisfaction on the expectation that their adult children accomplish specific things. It's a corrosive attitude.

People in this thread are not talking about "having an opinion." They are talking about people who refuse to accept their adult children for who they are or see the good in the lives they have built for themselves, even when they have built lovely lives. And a common thread is disappointment in their children's earnings or material goods. These are shallow concerns. Being disappointed because your child chose a blue collar career and a simple life versus white collar success is a failure of parenting. Meet your kids where they are at.[/quote]

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