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[quote=Anonymous]OP, would it kill you and DW to admit that maybe you're overloaded? Maybe you have too much in your life going on to sustain a healthy relationship? Really, you are going at each other like rats in a cage and it's not healthy for your kids. You both need to put on your grown up panties and start, at a minimum, acting civilly and realizing that you dug this hole together. Hate does not fix problems; I understand that you're venting, but I also know that it's really, really easy to fall into a pattern of just throwing your hands up and saying 'there's nothing I can do'. I also think that a big part of this is just plain incompatibility; maybe not permanently, but probably right now.

Sounds like your options are:
1) GOOD counselor(s) who helps you both deal with your anger better, 
2) trial separation, or
3) An adults-only vaca to try and uncover the relationship you had before kids, and/or
4) a BIG life change that will improve your quality of life (moving closer to family, one of you reducing work hours, etc.)

If you both won't commit 100% to making it work, though, then that will narrow your options. You need to have a grown-up conversation about what you both want to do.
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