Reply to Why/how do you date people you're not attracted to?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]Because women especially are told not to be "shallow" and will be alone forever if they are "too picky[/b]."

I would have rather been alone, so I was mostly single until I met my husband, but most of my friends who were always in relationships dated guys they weren't attracted to to "give him a chance" and see if they "became attracted due to his personality." Never worked out.[/quote]

I am not doubting but sincerely curious: who is giving that advice. I would never tell my daughter that so want to know where that message comes from.[/quote]

A few posts back, someone said that because most women are only attracted to the top 20% of men, women should settle.

My whole life, if I wasn’t interested in a guy because I wasn’t attracted, I’d hear tons of “poor guy!” and “but he’s SUCH a good guy!”

Everyone knows men are generally too shallow to do that.

I do know some really attractive men who married unattractive women. Not wives who later lost their looks, but women who were never good looking. The men were generally looking for a certain package of qualities that fit their lifestyle aspirations such as piety, fringe political values, good with kids, strict veganism, wanting to travel non-stop/live abroad, or devote their lives to a draining cause. I also, unfortunately, know men of color (including in my family) who were only going to marry white women and sometimes resorted to marrying white women who were not just unattractive women, but awful people. I have a cousin who married a HS drop out with severe meth mouth and a trio of kids in state care.

[/quote]

Yep.  I've NEVER heard a man be told the same about a woman.  "Sure she's ugly and terrible, but she's SUCH a good person!  Give her a chance!"  Never, ever heard that.[/quote][/quote]

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