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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]Um, what’s this based on please? Because my personal experience (I’m the PP foster kid), is obviously very different. The social workers did everything to keep me in a home with a drunk and drug addict, no electricity or food at times, and complete filth. Who are these social workers you suggest are messing up close calls? Don’t really think that’s common, but if you have data I’d love to see it. Obviously my experience is only my own.[/quote]

Question for this poster---from the perspective of your now adult self, do you think it would have been preferable for the social workers to have given your biological mother one (maybe two) chances to get her act together and then arranged for termination of parental rights and your adoption by a stable family, instead of shuffling you between bio-home and multiple temporary foster situations?  [/quote]

My kid self would say staying with my mother, who I thought loved me, kept me with my siblings and I knew how to navigate the chaos, esp as I got older.  I didn’t have the perspective of understanding what I was missing.  I would have fought like all get-out to not be adopted and would have been easily manipulated into thinking what a terrible outcome that was.  As an adult?  I should have been removed so, so many times more than I was.  There were so many reporters who failed me (back before I’d lie about it).  My mother was not capable of “getting her act together.”  It just wasn’t a possibility.  To have had a stable family probably would have been better.  That said, it’s really hard to know.  I understand that adoption is challenging for adoptees and the grass isn’t always greener.  I have a great life now so I can’t regret the choices I made and that were made for me.  But I really do take issue with potentially minimizing when / how children should be removed.  Probably because it was the excuse my mom would use - that the social worker overreacted, didn’t know what they were doing, the police were wrong, etc - all while I’d been scraping mold off of food to eat, having bugs crawl on me at night from filth or when I was in the actual car that she drove off the road into a pole while drunk.[/quote]

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