Reply to Is it ever okay for DH to call wife a "b*tch" or "f-ck you" on a regular basis?

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Reply to "Is it ever okay for DH to call wife a "b*tch" or "f-ck you" on a regular basis?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I admit to being the angry-words one in our relationship; my husband has raised his voice twice ever and cursed once. I can't tell you how CATHARTIC it feels to yell and curse, but I know that it's wrong, damaging, and childish. I'm working on it. I do my damnedest to control it the best I can; I've never cursed in front of our children and never thrown things or hit (despite being tempted) and I've stopped slamming doors despite how incredibly satisfying it is. Again, I'm working on it all so don't bother with the flames.

I'm not horrified by your husband's words, said occasionally or in the heat of real anger and frustration (i.e.: not over a freaking SANDWICH). I am horrified by the sense I get that he's not bothered by it, feels entitled to say it, uses it as regular derogatory language, and has done so around your children. Totally different game, in my book.

Life's complicated. What's clear to me is that everyone should be trying to improve and change. I do individual therapy to deal with my anger, and couples counseling to keep us moving along. I take medication that I don't like to try to improve myself. My children, my loves, are 6 and 4 and have never cursed, never hit, are seemingly well-adjusted and doing well in school. I use that as my barometer that I've kept my poison mostly to myself. I'm sure it's seeped out at times, but I'm getting better and better. Life is so much better now than it was a few years ago.

I guess the point of my rambling is that your husband should be trying a whole hell of a lot harder than he is. If I can do it, seriously anyone can.[/quote]

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