Reply to FIL with dementia demanding to “go home”

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thank you to all the PPs with helpful responses, it was appreciated.

It’s been a whirlwind since I wrote the original post. In that time, FIL continued for about a week with the “I’ve packed my bag and I’m leaving” stuff. He then had a tough conversation with my husband (his son) in which my husband listed every doctor visit, every big red flag of things FIL wasn’t doing/car accidents/unpaid taxes, etc., every missed appointment he swore he went to every week, and so on. Told FIL in no uncertain terms he can’t go home, today or ever. For the first time, FIL actually cried after hearing this (other times he’d just say “i disagree” or “no, that’s not true”). The next day, he COMPLETELY changed demeanor, told us he now recognizes he has some limitations, and thanked us for all we’ve done for him “these last couple of weeks” (which is how long he thinks he’s been “visiting”).

After this huge shift in demeanor, we took him to see a couple of assisted living places, he decided they looked nice, and he moved into one today. Still being pleasant as pie. No longer trying to leave & take walks or head to the airport. It’s like a switch flipped and he’s suddenly able to remember he really DOES have some health problems.

It seemed like a super fast move to assisted living, but we decided to have him move while he was still thinking it was a good idea and something he’d chosen, so he’d at least have positive feelings about the place as his first impression. TBD how it all turns out. He doesn’t like to be around “old people” so I’m not sure what he will think of being surrounded by people his same age or 5-10 years younger.

Just wanted to share an update. [/quote]

That’s great. I’m glad things have turned out so well. My Dad was resisting moving (who wants to go from a nice house to a small apartment in an independent living place), but I told him “at some point you are going to have to move. Do you want to do it now when you have some control over it or after you are sick or injured and I have to make all the decisions for you”.  [/quote]

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