Reply to Daughter dating 31 year old man

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A little different, but my 31 year old son is engaged to a 23 year old.  She was 19 when they started dating.  Freshman in college. She is more mature than he is in many ways. Her parents were initially really concerned.  They adore him now. [/quote]
I'd be more concerned about their long term marriage if your 31 yr old is immature and engaged.[/quote]

I didn’t say he was immature.  He is college professor and Captain in the National Guard.  He is a combat vet X3.  Very smart.  Very successful.  But definitely ADHD.  She has the maturity of someone well over her age.  Sometimes age really is just a number. [/quote]

Sure, because she’s 23 now. A mature for her age 23 yo is fine with a less mature for his age 31 yo. I was her. The problem is that by her late 20s she will be WAY more mature than he is and frustrated by his ADHD. BTDT. We are pretty happy 20 yrs out but it was rocky for a while. He’s matured a lot, but honestly, this same woman, if she were 30 now, probably wouldn’t date him.[/quote]
+1 exactly

Wait till the kids come along, and she'll be posting on here about how her DH is a man/child.  Your son's GF is probably mothering him.  Gross.[/quote]

Wow.  How hurtful.  I certainly hope that’s not the case.  I will never understand why people on dcum enjoy trying to hurt complete strangers. I’m excited for my son and his beautiful fiancé.  I hope they are as happy as my DH and I are after 35 years of marriage.

I gently suggest you ask yourself why you felt the need to comment with “gross”.  It kinda says a lot about how your own life must feel. [/quote]
 A wife mothering her immature husband is gross, irrespective of his or her age.

How bad can his ADHD be if he's a captain in the military and he teaches?  Perhaps you are making some excuses for him.

My DH and I have been married for 20 years. No way in h3ll would I want a husband to have to manage or mother.  We have two kids, btw.  I saw this kind of thing play out with my brother. His wife has to mother him becaue he's "immature", and my mother made excuses for his immaturity all throughout his life. [/quote]

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