Reply to does this sound outside the range of "normal" 3-4yo behavior to you?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Preschool teacher here: 
He sounds frustrated and like he struggles with impulse control. 1. If it’s a school/group behavior it can be addressed much more easily at school, and you can do a lot to help him voice his frustration at home 2. If the school doesn’t see it as something they can help him mature through then that is a problem. Montessori schools tend to have very high ratios of teachers to kids as part of the model - that makes it difficult to shadow him during transitions, which is what he needs. A teacher to interfere and help him with the words before he destroys work or knocks his work over.

It’s also not something that is fixed in a week or two - every kid starts where they are and learns what they need to 
thrive...
To start I would: 1. Give him a very specific count down to the end of whatever activity - at this age just a finish up what you are doing and then it’s almost time to clean up 
2. Focus only on using words - if he knocks over something in frustration stop and ask him to tell you what’s he’s trying to express - don’t worry about the thing 
3. Have him only go to the teacher right now, not another student - and yea that is contrary to the Montessori method

I agree with a previous poster that this school may not be a good match for him

I teach at a play based preschool and this year it’s 7 kids to two teachers. We have a 4 year old who still snatches and knocks over other kids towers...however he has made so much progress this year and he can stop and talk to a friend and apologize, help fix it  and move on. Next year he will have a whole extra year of impulse control, plus the skills to talk to a friend and resolve conflict

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Another preschool teacher here.  I agree with the above.  A play-based preschool would be a better fit for your child, it sounds like he would benefit from a school that focuses on getting along with others and socialization.  Some kids this age are more impulsive than others -- your child may just be taking a little longer to mature, which is in the range of "normal".

When I have a child who behaves this way in my class, we would assign the assistant teacher to be the child's shadow at key points of the day that are likely to be challenging, like transitions between activities.  You need an adult close at hand to intervene with this kind of behavior.  You also want the teachers to observe it carefully, note when it happens, what kinds of circumstances, and see what they can do to minimize those circumstances. Also, to coach the child on expressing his feelings in other ways, rather than messing up another child's project.  Its OK to be mad, or upset that an activity is over, but its not OK to destroy someone's project is the message to be conveyed, and worked on with the child.

Could your OT visit your child at school? Then she could observe what he's doing at school and try to work on things with him that are relevant to better self-regulation at school.  My preschool has OTs, other specialists come in to observe the child at school so they can give supportive services that are responsive to what is going on at school.  Because of course, school demands different things of kids than being at home does.

I'm not so sure that OT is the right kind of specialist for this situation -- a special ed / social-emotional skills consultant would be good -- but using the OT you have to come in and advise what would help at school might be useful.  See if your school will allow that.  They should, it is how schools can support students.  Sometimes the OT or other specialist can also advise the teachers what she is working on with that child, invite the teachers to use some of the same techniques with the child. [/quote]

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