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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Given our history, I recognize maintaining an active friendship with my former fling is inappropriate. I’d always made space for him as a friend and considered it innocent because we were no longer intimate. That said, I’d recently been thinking the friendship should end as my relationship became more serious and after I caught him on camera shoveling my snow.... Also it came to me today that I’d never mentioned him to my last boyfriend from six years ago. Not exactly sure why I shared in this new relationship but am glad I did as it’s helped me see a lot of things about myself and my new relationship. [/quote]

My girlfriends and I have a term for this ex-boyfriend of yours-[b] trinkets.  These are remnants of our past dating lives that didn’t work out for some reason but we keep them on the shelf to bring them down and play with them from time to time.  They stroke our ego and make ourselves feel better about ourselves. [/b] And when we find ourselves in a relationship with potential with a good man these “trinkets” are not compatible with that.  You’ve been told and seem to now be aware that your boyfriend probably doesn’t care about your friendship with the ex-boyfriend- it’s your lies by omission when you’re meeting up with him that’s the problem.  Full transparency is necessary and without it there’s a questions about motive and trust.  How would you feel if you found out your boyfriend met up with an old girlfriend (who obviously still has feelings for him like your old boyfriend has for you) and didn’t tell you about it?  You’d be very uncomfortable.  Same scenario but he told you in advance he was doing it and talked about it with you when they were through?  Totally different outcome.[/quote]

I love this and I'm totally stealing it.[/quote]

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