Reply to Parents- tell me about your friendships with childfree people

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[quote=Anonymous]As a pp mentioned, your experiences will be different depending on your friends. In any friendship, or any relationship really, you either have to be naturally aligned or both sides have to be willing to compromise enough that neither person feels like they are always doing the work.  With all my friends, not just child free, I’ve had to navigate what is the best time to call and what is the preferred way of keeping up.  My biggest adjustment with having kids was needing to be more intentional about my time and more thoughtful about what would be a good time etc for the other person that also works for me.  I had some friends that the commute home was the best time when we were both free, a different friend who works from home it was lunchtime, I have another friend that hates phone calls but is great about texting and will often initiate a text if we haven’t seen each other in awhile.  Before I had kids, I could call and text anytime and someone could call and text me almost any time.  There was also the navigation around when we see each other in person and what type of activity etc.  Over the years as my kids were in different stages of activities, there has been an ebb and flow but one of the things for me is being able to connect as adults without the focus being the kids, that can be on the phone, it could be with a gathering without kids like a dinner or brunch, it could be like a pp mentioned coming over near the kids bedtime and hang out after the kids are asleep.  I would say among my friends with kids, I have not stayed close to friends that didn’t have that same outlook and never made that effort.

As I look back the main things are mutual consideration, thoughtfulness and communication - everyone is busy and no one should assume the other person has to always cater to you versus finding something that works for you both.  I’ve had some bumps along the way and have good friends be upfront when they were hurt and felt like things were one sided, and that was what gave me a wake up call to do better in those friendships.[/quote]

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