Reply to Thrivers (book), raising kids in a pressure cooker area

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]To what extent do you think that laid back parents can raise laid back kids in this regard, even when surrounded by pressure-cooker families?  DH and I are pretty non-competitive when it comes to work and school.  We both have jobs that are intellectually stimulating, we read a lot, have academic and social interests, but couldn't care less if our kids are at the top of their class/make the competitive sports team/ etc.  I like to think we can raise kids who don't feel the need to keep up with their peers in some of the ways being discussed here, but they're still young and so I don't know if we're being totally naive.[/quote]
I’m the OP. It’s part of why I posted it.  My DH and I are the same. We have graduate degrees, we instilled a love of reading in our kids, but we aren’t crazy competitive.  By not pushing our kids, are we short changing them?  My gut tells me my kids will be ok but it’s hard to not buy into the craziness of this area.  The book describes how damaging this competition can be to kids.  Kids feel like they never measure up even when they are excelling.  They feel like they can’t mistakes.  It all feels soul crushing.  I want my kids to do well but not at the expense of their happiness.  Not so I can brag about it on an anonymous forum.  I think some parents are starting to question this system when kids with 4.3 and insane amount of ECs are being rejected left and right from colleges. Enough is enough.  Kids can succeed in life and still have a childhood. [/quote]

Competitive (adult) child of laid-back parents, here.  I don't know if it's my nature or if I just absorbed it from the GT center air from 5th grade onward, but my parents and I were woefully disconnected on what it took to be successful in this area.  By the time my younger siblings were middle school age, they had picked up on it a bit (SAT prep for my brother, a full slate of dance classes for my sister) but I think the takeaway is just to parent the kid(s) you have.  If they're gung ho into an activity and you have the time and/or means to support it, do so to the fullest of your ability.  Conversely, if they don't have an interest/passion, don't force it.[/quote]

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