Reply to Would you press charges against a 7th grader.....

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A pp here.  That is the one thing I dislike about DCUM.  OP relays that a kid broke into DS’s locked locker, unzipped his backpack and stole his iPod.  And folks jump on her for allowing her son to have an iPod, implying that the theft is somehow her fault. It kills me that folks act like they are parenting on a higher plane and that the rest of us are cave people for allowing our kids to take advantage of new technology.  Well, one of my kids got her jacket stolen from her locker at her private HS.  Well, I guess it is my fault for allowing her to wear a jacket to school.  LOL!!  [/quote]

I disagree that this is what is happening here.  Yes, no one should have stolen anything.  But the OP was mainly on here to ask whether turning a 7th grader over to the police is an appropriate response to a iTouch theft.  I think the posters highlighting the fact of a 12-13 year old sporting a $300 piece of electronics is in relation to the OP's poor judgment on wanting to press charges.  There is no live debate among academics that the frontal cortex of a child is different than that of an adult's - which is precisely why we don't charge children as adults, generally.  So, the OP's desire to treat this as a crime before recognizing this as a learning moment is pretty troubling, especially coming from a parent.  I think that is what the posters are zeroing in on, rather than "blaming the victim."

By the way, imagine if the shoes were on different feet.  If it were OP's child who had misbehaved, I imagine she would be going on and on about how this was something that could have been handled within the school system, and that the other parent overreacted by involving the police.

Really, OP - breathe a little.

[/quote]

You might want to get used to the fact that I'm not the only parent that allows her child to go to school with an ipod.  DS has a long bus ride and MANY of the kids on his bus are plugged into a device to entertain them.  I never said that I WANTED to prosecute this kid.  I acknowledged that 12 year-olds are boneheads and make stupid decisions.  And I was asking what others would do.  But, do you really think that a kid that breaks into 4 kids lockers to steal their ipods is just a case of "bad judgment" and deserves only a teaching moment?  Perhaps I should invite this kid over to rape and pillage my DD next so he can get the full range of his entitlements?

If the shoes were on the other feet, and I didn't KNOW my DS was doing this, I hope to GOD he would get caught and suffer the natural consequences of his actions before turning 18, where he has zero excuses anymore.  Failing to hold a 12YO accountable for his actions (whether it be expulsion or a trip to Juvie) is ridiculous....it says to that child that there are no consequences for his actions.  It says that there is no justice for victims, and yes, even kids who bring $300 items to school, regardless of your feelings toward it, are the victims here.   If it were my child, I'd want someone to scare the living shit out of him for what he did and put the fear of God into him to set him straight.  If the parents aren't doing their job here, then the system takes over and natural societal consequences ensue.  What we are watching here is a criminal in training....a future scam artist that needs to be handled in whatever manner...frankly I don't give a damn how they handle it at this point because there are so many missing ipods at this point, I'm sure one of the other parents will call the police.

Do I feel sorry for the kid?  Hell yes.  I can only assume that his parents are pieces of work.  But that does NOT entitle him to steal from anyone.  Girls bring their expensive jewelry to school and their wear designer clothing and jackets.  My kids don't wear expensive shoes or clothes, but they DO have itouches that they cherish and are very careful with.  I do NOT hold my son accountable for the theft of his itouch as he did exactly as he was taught to do....to keep it locked away in his locker in his backpack.

Final thought here.  You don't have kids in middle school yet or you wouldn't be judging ME as a parent so harshly.  Then again, DC is a great place for harboring criminals...they run rampant on Capital Hill and the White House.[/quote]

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