Reply to Father with dementia in nursing home, sister wants to bring him home

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP - I feel for you but sounds like your mind is made up. You have only said negative things about your sister -- her lack of judgement, her attitude, her incompetence, impatience, etc.

If you want a little peek into what she is likely going through: she is doing the work and making the outgh decisions, etc and just wants your support/ear to listen. She wants you to understand that caring for an elderly parent --just visiting them or just having it on your mind day-in and day-out) is not easy and regardless of our personality or what we "know" to be true, we cannot control our thoughts and anger, etc. It can be overwhelming, but when you love someone (your father) you convince yourself that it is the right thing to do for them. Also, at her age she is probably scared about her own future, if she sees herself in your father and would want someone to do for her what she wants (or thinks she is doing) for him.

If you have made up your mind and do not care what she thinks or wants to do.. that she is non-logical and can't make any good decision, then you and your other siblings need to come up with something.

But I think supporting her the best you can would help mend your family duing these tough times.

[/quote]

This is all sorts of nonsense.  OP should just support her sister as she makes decisions that are not in her father's best interest?  So the sister can think that OP understands?  No.  OP needs to do what is best for her father, which the sister is *not* doing.

As for "then you and your other siblings need to come up with something," - they have.  They want OP's father to stay in the facility where he is now, which is equipped to deal with his memory and other issues.

OP, is there a financial component to this?  If your sister afraid that her inheritance will be drained having your father stay in a facility?  Is she worried that your father will have to sell his house (that she lives in) in order to finance his stay in a facility?  (I bet this last one is it.)  [/quote]

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