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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm watching the child outside of marriage convo and it's interesting.
The man made the commitment but the other woman is hated. I have sadly been on both sides of this equation. And to this day hate the other woman and might still take a swing if I am caught off guard by her.  And I know he lied to her ( and me). I have also, unbeknownst to me, been the other woman. Lied too and still the ire of the wife or gf.

Why do we get mad at the other person if they didn't know?[/quote]

Because no one believes you didn't know.  [/quote]

I agree. My husband's loser "other person" certainly did not care if he was married or not. She pretended not to know, but she knew with 100 percent certainty. I have read their emails, so I know for sure.

I hate both of them, and I pretend I hate them equally. But, really, I hate her more. I feel like she's taken something away from me. Ridiculous I know. I should blame my soon-to-be-ex OF COURSE but that's too painful to me right now. I really don't want to accept that he might have started everything - that he controlled the situation and made all the decisions to cheat on me and his little children. It's easier to blame her. Plus I feel like she WON, even though my husband is not much of a prize.

I'm sure it will take years and tens of thousands of dollars in therapy bills to get over my hatred of her them.

Sorry, but that's my honest answer. I used to be a much nicer person before this all happened. I hope this doesn't happen to many other women here. It's horrible and life-altering.

[/quote]

Hey PP - just wanted to reach out and say I'm sorry.  I'm going through something similar (husband cheated on me with a casual friend of ours and we have little kids).  I feel the same about her.  She is married and has little kids too.  I hate my husband in a different way.  But I feel like she, as a wife and mother of two little kids, should have known how devestating something like this would be to a woman with little kids.  The fact that her need for attention and validation overcame any empathy for me and my children (who have had playdates with hers) is disgusting and weak.[/quote]

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