Reply to Remarried boomer parent takes his wife and her adult kids and their families on vacation

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Everyone here will tell you-- it's men. They get remarried and dump their bio kids in favor of the new wife's family or the kids they have together. Don't worry about the money, the 2nd wife (and her kids) will get any money inheritance. 
I wouldn't tolerate it-- would just keep my distance. [/quote]

OP here and I definitely feel this is the case with my dad. He still sees me and my siblings, but not as much as he sees his wife's kids. Even when he mentions it, I feel angry but I just smile and say "Oh that's nice. I'm glad you had a good time."

Are you saying the second wife and her kids will get all the inheritance? 
My grandparents left it in a trust. Its supposed to go to my dad and then me and my siblings. But I accidentally got a document that my dad signed (he didn't mean to it include it in some other paperwork he gave to me) and it said that all of his money would be left to the wife. I really don't know if that means his money or my grandparents' trust and I'm not going to ask. But I don't want to be embattled with her one day.

I definitely do feel like I'm going to keep my distance more. My partner and I were considering moving back to my home state and this kind of shit makes me reconsider.[/quote]

pp here- I just think that many re-married men "go with the flow." Your dad isn't necessarily prioritizing his wife's kids over you and your siblings-- he's prioritizing his wife, and she is putting her children first. In that sense, it's not personal-- it's just that he wants a happy home life, and it sounds like she is willing to make things difficult. It isn't always like this- my neighbors are both in a their second marriage- the DH's DD from his first marriage is treated like a daughter and full/equal member of the household when she stays. 
Same with my close friend- she's bent over backwards for her step kids, treats them equally to her bio kids, and would take care of them and seek a close relationship and provide all support even if something happened to her DH-- but she's just a really nice person that some people are lucky to have in their lives. 
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