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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If this has been such a problem in your life, I think you might be a big complainer. “Tough love” people are usually responding to being invited into your problems. [/quote]

What you are describing is a co-dependency. Tough love people often seek out "big complainers" because that gives them the opportunity to frequently dole out all their advice and feel superior. And big complainers, in turn, often become fixated on proving to the tough love people that their problems are valid (or that they are valid) and with every rejection, just become more determined to prove it the next time. Both parties will be miserable but they will also both keep coming back for more because the relationship feeds their insecurities.

If someone "invites you into their problems" you can always decline the invitation. And if you find yourself giving tough love advice a lot, it would probably be a good idea to step back and ask (1) if that is actually helping your friend, and (2) if it is serving you. The answer to both is probably no. A lot of people in the world are seeking love and validation, and you might think it's dumb that they want those things, or you might think they are going about it in the wrong way, but neither of those things are really your business.[/quote]

What you're doing is "making assumptions." I don't identify as a tough love person. If I find myself in the company of a complainer, I sure do tell them when they're full of it, but I sure don't need to make friends with them. There are a LOT of women who just want to sit around and admire their problems and make a mess of their life. They sure can do it without involving me. [/quote]

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