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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I've got tough love friends. In certain cases I've been the tough love friend. I don't think there's an easy answer here. Personal preference plays a large role. As do a lot of subtleties. But yeah, if I'm repeatedly behaving in a way that's likely to hurt other people or cause me pain down the road, I absolutely want a close friend to be like "this is a mistake." And I do the same for my friends. But at what point in the sliding scale? That's important. Generally, you've gotta be pretty far down the self destruction path for me to call you out, absent you asking for my advice. But ohhhhh man, if you ask for my advice? You're getting the unvarnished truth.

Once I knocked on a close friends door with a new haircut and she literally laughed in my face. And you know what? She was right, it was a bad haircut for me (though it took about a year for me to admit that). I absolutely need friends like that, and want them. It might not be for you, and that's fine, too. 
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[b]I do not want friends like this because I had "tough love" parents and spent my entire childhood feeling judged and found wanting. I hate feeling judged by my friends and it is not why I make friends. Let me make my mistakes. It's my life.[/b]

I also think that if you are worried about a friend or think they are making a mistake, the place to start is asking questions and trying to understand. If your first instinct is to jump in with advice or to tell people they are doing it wrong, you are very likely to alienate your friend. If your goal is actually to help (and not just to judge), then you should want to fully understand the situation and see if there is something you are not getting. I always start from the perspective that other people understand their own lives better than I do because I think anything else is arrogant and probably mistaken.[/quote]

That explains it your maturity is stunted, and thus you feel and react like a child/teenager. Therapy would probably help, but you are also probably the anti-therapy poster.[/quote]

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