Reply to Help Me Learn How to Not Come Off As Abrasive

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When I’m in meetings with higher ups, I study their soft skills to help myself figure this out. It’s helped a lot as I’ve noted higher up the chain and into more outward facing roles. Things I now try to make a point to do:

- make small talk with staff across the organization, as a PP laid out well. Go to happy hours and drop in on lunch room conversations.

[b]- Keep an awareness of the people I have strained relationships with and try to build some good will. For example, I have a coworker whose opinion I know I’ll often be pushing back on. I don’t hold myself back from doing so, but i proactively reach out to that person for their opinion on other things, even though I really don’t want to deal with them, as doing so makes them feel I am not totally dismissive of all their ideas and still value their contributions even if we sometimes disagree.[/b]

- Acknowledge And thank others often.

- Decide what to dig in on. Lately I’ve been using language along the lines of “I feel strongly about this for X and Y reasons. Here’s the solution I’ve come up with - what do you think?’ Presenting disagreement that way is much more effective, and often leads to better, unexpected outcomes than just going in saying “I’ve been through this 10 times. We just need to do Z!”[/quote]

This is great advice.[/quote]

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