Reply to Skeletons in the Closet?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]17:41 You seem like such a good guy. I would have been mad about some of the questions and assumptions but you answered them in such a reasonable way. I still think it's too bad you can't tell your wife the truth.[/quote]

I somewhat disagree. Some things are best kept in the past. The idea that your spouse must know about your past is not one I agree with. My past (drug use, sex history) was only brought out when she asked and then I gave her an honest answer to all. She now knows pretty much every woman I slept with, and is still on good terms with most of them. However, after she asked me about my history, she asked if I wanted to know, and I said no. If I ever have a burning desire to learn, I would expect honesty, but I do not want to know. The woman I love now is not the woman she was then, and I don't need complications. Knowing that she slept with numerous men or just a few will not be beneficial to our relationship. If she slept with numerous men, I then feel insecure about who I meet with her. If she slept with only a few, then I wonder what they had that made her choose them. I know myself and don't see any way that this would be beneficial to our kids or our marriage. Similarly, if the PP slept with men (in a gay relationship or just experimenting), it would not be beneficial to his relationship or kids, so there's no need to tell anybody. I think the desire to tell all must reside on the second X chromosome. It is not sad he can't tell his wife. It is good he has no desire to do so. In a marriage, we learn our boundaries. They differ from marriage to marriage. I do appreciate the reasoned explaination of something many of us don't understand.[/quote]

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