Reply to Something I don't understand about criticism of big families

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP - were you an elder sibling in a large family?[/quote]

Yes, I am the oldest of 10.  I loved it.

I did babysit a lot for my parents, but also for other families.  I didn't really mean babysitting, though--more just the day-to-day "please change your brother's diaper" or "please put the little guys in the bathtub" or "please take the little ones on a walk" or the other little things that come up all the time.  I did see, and still see, all of those requests as reasonable and beneficial to me.  I especially loved babies--still do.  And yes, my brothers had to do the same things, and as fathers now, they are wonderful, tender dads who can do all the things their wives can do--besides breastfeed and birth, of course ;)

Perhaps it is just when parents are not appreciative, or do not explain why their help is necessary?  I have asked other children from large families, and the rare ones who do not have fond memories of taking care of siblings usually felt unappreciated.

That's what I'm trying to tease out--what turns people sour about this aspect of being part of a big family.  I very much appreciate the thoughtful responses.[/quote]

OP, I don't think people from large families are soured on the size of their family, I think they're unenthusiastic when the family dynamics are abusive. In a small family, that equals abuse from a limited number of abusers. It's terrible, of course, but at least you can count your abusers on one hand. The difference with a large family, especially for younger children like me, is that younger children get abused by their parents and their older brothers and sisters. This can add up to a considerable amount of abuse and abusers.[/quote]

I see that (OP again).  My parents came from big families, too, and there were issues with bullies and abusers among the siblings, and I can see how, in that way, larger numbers make a significant difference.

So far, I have picked up some genuine wisdom, which I am taking to heart, thank you.

Oh, and PP whose feelings were hurt--you have me confused with another poster.  And I am trying not to let your words bother me...after all, this is DCUM, and I know such comments will be made along the way, though I wish it didn't have to be like that.[/quote]

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