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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Tell me your experiences bonding with an older child who has been adopted into your family? Mine new relative has experienced trauma in the past and naturally has been reluctant to warm up to everyone and has anger issues. I understand this but am wondering how I can help build some trust. FYY-this child is not mine but a member of immediate family. [/quote]

We adopted teen DS this year. He was a distant relative of DH.  He doesn’t have anger issues, but he is shy and leery of adults who come on too hard too fast. The pandemic has really allowed us to give him space from my over enthusiastic extended family. Some have only seen him on FT or Zoom. They can’t corner him with questions about his past or inappropriate statements about how lucky he is. Bonding is probably going to look different because we haven’t had those big family holidays or summer reunions. He has become closer to one of my brothers because they play video games over the internet once a week. Trust takes a long time though. My DD would feel totally comfortable with spending a week alone with her uncle. DS has had so many predatory males approach him in his various prior homes that I think any time alone would be anxiety producing.[/quote]

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