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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Let her apply wherever her heart desires. Stop making these kids afraid of failures or rejections when these are life lessons. Doesn’t matter how many times you fall, what matters is how many times you stand up again! No wonder kids these days are emotionally very soft and have myriad mental issues. Eventually your DC will end up at a college she is supposed to be [/quote]

This is just ridiculously stupid advice. [/quote]

How is it stupid when college applications are more of a lottery?[/quote]

We often talk about college admissions like it's a lottery, a complete crap shoot. But it's not a lottery. In a true lottery situation, every chance (ticket) has equal odds of being chosen. And the tickets are unrelated to one another. Having one of your tickets chosen doesn't increase the chances that another one of your tickets will be chosen.

College admissions isn't like that. Not every application has an equal chance of being chosen. We think it seems like they do, because of the information we hold in our hands: We have a good idea of grades and test scores and even ECs of other kids, and we know that some kids with a GPA of x and test scores of y and ECs of a and b get admitted and others don't. It seems random. But it's not. Colleges are not putting all the applications from kids who meet baseline criteria into a hat and then pulling out a random sampling. They are READING the applications. They know that Larla with x GPA and y SAT and a&b ECs also has an amazingly glowing teacher recommendation and wrote a really funny, interesting essay; and Larlie with same GPA and scores and ECs has a nice but not stellar rec and wrote an essay that was pretty mediocre; and Larleen, also same GPA, scores, and ECs, is a desirable prospect in one of those ECs. And they choose accordingly.

And, most colleges are choosing on similar metrics, so having one application be among the chosen ones at school X increases the odds that you'll be chosen at school Y. Larla is going to be admitted to Harvard AND to Stanford, Larlie won't get into either school, and Larleen will get into Harvard because they need a bassoonist this year but not Stanford because they are lousy with bassoonists right now. Larlie increasing her apps to include Yale and Princeton isn't going to up her odds of admission--all 4 schools are going to find her essay mediocre. Larla also applies to Yale and Princeton and gets in there, too, because they too know a great essay and rec when they see them.

That doesn't mean there isn't an element of randomness. There is. But it's not as random as it looks to outside observers.

This means that it's a bad strategy for high-achieving kids to increase the number of top colleges they apply to but not add some lower-tier colleges. Applying just to Harvard, Stanford, Yale, and Princeton is not upping your odds of attending a top 5 school. It would be if those schools drew acceptances out of a hat. But they don't.

And this doesn't even get into the cost. If you are a high-achieving kid from a family that doesn't have $250k to spend on college (or doesn't want to spend that much) but isn't needy enough to get financial aid, applying to Harvard, Stanford, Yale, and Princeton is a waste of time. These schools don't give merit aid and you're not getting financial aid. This is why at the end of the day, Larlie might pass on her 4 top choices and go to UVA instead. Good thing her parents insisted she apply there!

The heart wants what it wants, but wanting doesn't get you admitted to college and doesn't get you the money to go there. People don't say that kids should find matches and safeties because they are afraid kids' fee-fees will be hurt by rejection. They say that finding matches and safeties are important because without them rejection means **you don't go to college this year.** You might be willing to take the chance that your kid spends another year in the basement, but IMO that's a monumentally stupid chance to take.[/quote]

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