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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. To clarify, this is an official school activity, but it does NOT have varsity status. That means the school lends its name and facilities to the activity, and the activity needs to follow the school system’s regulations on when they can meet, the official health forms the participants fill out, background checks on the coaches, etc. However, no school funds are expended for coaches, equipment, buses, etc.

People wonder exactly what the coach said. He didn’t say explicitly that the rival’s parents paid $5k for their daughter to win the spot in the lineup. But I think it’s obvious what happened if you read between the lines. Yes the coach wants to win, but first he wants to compete. Unfortunately the sponsor making that happen has a daughter competing with mine.

I wish I could write a check and place my daughter onto equal footing. But then the rival’s Dad would just up the ante. This is lunch money to him.

I appreciate the thoughts on what to do. I don’t really see how going to the school matters given that this is a (school) club sport and not varsity. There’s just not enough interest for the school to step in and pressure the coach—even if somehow media covered this. He can just drop the program and turn a large number of well-off parents against the school (and my daughter).

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This sounds like boys club hockey, but it could apply to any club sport.

I mean look at all the soccer clubs. Everyone knows certain players are on certain teams because their parents contribute money or do private coaching with the coaches and that kind of thing. This even applies to regular HS sports that are funded by the HS. In our area one group of players has been coached for years over the summer by one of the HS coaches. This is technically an ethics violation for that coach but it's a rich area and no one is going to report her. All "her" kids she coaches in the summer make the team and there's no room for anyone else. You'd argue they are better but isn't part of it because their parents have been paying for years for 1:1 coaching and small group coaching beyond what others can afford?

I'm sorry for your DC, OP. I'm not sure what I'd do. Your ex's approach sounds reasonable. Change only comes from people who speak out but I also get your position of wanting her to continue having a good relationship with the coach and her teammates.[/quote]

This sounds like crew. If it’s a close call, you give the spot to the booster’s kid. But if the kid isn’t close in the erg scores there’s not much the coach can do.

Coxswain is another matter. There’s no real physicality requirement besides being small. So long as the booster’s kid doesn’t crash the boat and keeps it relatively straight, the coach can fudge the evaluations to hold down OP’s daughter. So long as the coach always keeps the booster’s kid with the best rowers, he can always say the booster’s daughter guides the boat the best.

OP could try to battle, but the email, while sloppy, isn’t enough to rouse the principal and the School Department. Don’t go forget that if your daughter’s rival can buy a spot, her parents can also hire one hell of a lawyer. As things are so slanted, take this as a learning opportunity and move forward.[/quote]

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