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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was reading the thread about Millenials and the help they got from their parents, and it has me thinking about how people think about what they owe their kids, and what their commitment is to help their kids in life. My parents have always been very resentful of financially supporting their kids, even before we turned 18 and even for something like college. Their philosophy was that they had given us life, and then it was up to us what we made of it. This is very counter to how many other families work, and certainly counter to the kinds of support a lot of the millennials on that thread receive from their parents.

So it has me thinking: what are you committing to when you have kids?

I don't want to be like my parents, so when I chose to become a parent, I decided that I would commit to helping my kid in life however I could. I think my primary job is as a guide and teacher, to help my child gain the skills needed to survive and find joy and stability. But I also think I have a duty to provide financial support, to plan for her education, to assist her even into adulthood as necessary. I want her to feel loved and supported by her family at every stage of life, whether it's through adolescence or the challenges of becoming a parent, or pursuing a passion or career, or additional education. I can't guarantee we'll just foot the bill for this stuff, but I absolutely want to help in whatever way I reasonably can. Same for grandkids.

I also don't view life as the gift my parents think it was. Life is a gift but also a burden, and no one chooses to be born but once you are, must find a way to live. It seems cruel to bring people into the world, especially a world with as many problems as our has, and then just expect them to figure it out on their own.[/quote]

Agreed.  I also think that as parents we should commit to leading a healthy life and self care. Our children deserve to have healthy parents for as long as possible.  Try and not get lifestyle illnessess. Don't smoke, drink, do drugs, drive drunk or without seatbelts.   Get mental health, therapy and medicines. [/quote]

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