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[quote=Anonymous]My parents were middle class in a flyover town. They helped us a bit with college, but with 4 kids, couldn’t help that much. I took out a LOT of loans to go to college and just finished paying them off 20 years out from graduation. I am doing fine financially - yes I spent my first few years working significantly paying down my loans, and then had a manageable $200 payment after that.

I don’t think parents owe their kids help with college if it comes at the expense of their own retirement or other needs, and maybe wants. I benefited a lot from my education, picked a practical major (engineering) because the expectation was that I would find a job and support myself after college. I feel like the greatest gift my parents gave me was a stable childhood home and lots of support.

DH comes from an UMC family who does feel like they need to help all their kids with college, grad school, weddings, etc, in part because they have generational wealth and got help.

My parents see the help they give him/us and sometimes express regret they couldn’t help me/siblings more. I think that’s ridiculous - they successfully launched all of us to college and good careers.

So that’s what I feel I am committed to as a parent - doing my best to launch my children into college or another pathway to a good career. There are many pathways to that. I think the focus on $$, once the basic needs and some wants are met, is besides the point.

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