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[quote=Anonymous]OP here. His intent is good, just often misses the mark. His need for control, especially financial, is total. I thought he was particular when we got married, but didn't understand how it would worsen over time. His anxiety ramps this up too. There is [b]constant[/b] fear of scarcity and we don't have enough. It can take months and years to get him to see an alternate view on things, and if he has to "give in" he feels victimized. It's all uphill battles.

This is the first time I've seen though where his logic has led him to such an amoral decision. He truly felt that filtering money through a private account was the best way to categorize spending. I think he may have felt guilty for having to do this and that's why he hid it? I honestly don't know.

Luckily he is getting diagnosed and he wants the postnup and to use outside advisors (financial, CPA, etc.) for transparency. His focus (if you know the significance of that) is on this and he keeps saying "You need to be protected." But it's easy for him to say and even do all that though, and have it still not amount to much.

He is an immensely interesting person to talk to especially in his areas of interests- business analysis, market trends and finance. I really love these conversations with him. He also loves his family. There are lots of reasons to want to find a way to make this work, and this is the best clarity I've had in 20 years. We're going to keep at it. It's been really helpful to hear everyone's experiences here.[/quote]

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