Reply to Please advise - FIL not in touch with his mother (20 uears) and I want to bridge their gap

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Reply to "Please advise - FIL not in touch with his mother (20 uears) and I want to bridge their gap"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]People say I should fix my relationship with my own mother, or fix the relationship between her and my brother. I get that it’s difficult for people to understand, this wouldn’t be good for anyone. She has a personality disorder, and is very abusive.

I really wish no one would ever say to me again “But, she’s your mother! What is something happens to her? Won’t you feel guilty?”[b] I have been conditioned since I was a small child to feel guilty and responsible for her choices and behavior. It took 20 years of therapy to finally get I don’t need to subject myself to abuse to assuage my own guilt. [/b]

I see that OP has decided to stay out of it. For anyone else reading this thread, please just [b]stay out of people’s relationships with their estranged[/b] parents. [/quote]

Different poster, but I so relate to this and dealing with personality disordered people in the family. People from families without this do not understand just how abusive someone can be and they assume you are exaggerating or even worse, it is your fault the person behaved this way.

Sadly sometimes estrangement is the healthiest thing someone can do and it rarely comes without years, even sometimes decades of trying to take the high road. It's finally closing the door and saying "I will no longer tolerate your abusive and manipulative behavior. I am protecting myself and my family from the raging family and will no longer get burned."[/quote]

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