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[quote=Anonymous]I also learned to be *careful* about the truth because of my rage-prone father and emotionally enmeshed mother. I know that instinct to sculpt the truth to avoid certain reactions out of fear. It took me some time as an adult to learn to be more trusting and this more honest with people close to me. The hardest part was learning to be honest about my feelings, because I’d learned to suppress them for so long.

However, I also dealt with a friend like this a while back and now I also see it from the other side and how it can be extremely stressful and even hurtful to those around you. My friend lied a lot to make herself look better and avoid being accountable for her own actions. She was the baby of her family a doted on by her family, and I think her lying stemmed from a kind of collective family lie that she was always innocent, that her actions shouldn’t have consequences, and that it was the responsibility of others to protect her, even when she became an adult. Her lying was disturbing and partially led to our friendship ending because while I empathized with her instinct to lie, ultimately I think she needed to learn to be responsible for herself. That $hit is tiresome after a certain age.[/quote]

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