Reply to Help me untangle feelings about SIL

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[quote=Anonymous]Nothing in your post says she doesn't like YOU. But your gifts, which are clearly important to you, are not her thing, and you're taking it very personally. I personally might have very mixed feelings about a charm bracelet focused on the what might have been the most challenging year of my life and, on a more shallow point, might not fit my aesthetic. And toddler bath bombs? Like another PP, all my reading as a new parent talked about the dangers of bubble bath, etc., so your idea of a gift might have felt more like a burden.

You want to show her that you adore her and think she is smart, kind, and a wonderful wife and mother? Listen to what she says. For her, the gifts feel like a burden. They may be your love language, but they are not hers, so it's aggressive to force them on her and then feel miffed that she wasn't more grateful.

Do you want her to feel loved? Speak her love language, which right now is $20-dollar training pants. And find some other way to connect with her that doesn't involve gifts and child-rearing advice. Find a TV show in common, or a food you both love, or a place you'd love to visit, and talk about that. Share your hopes and dreams about your life rather than your nephew's life. If you're lucky, you'll get to be the aunt whose house he goes to for bath bombs and cool sensory activities. 
 [/quote]

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