Reply to When you don't like a person in your broader friend group, which is the best way to handle?

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Reply to "When you don't like a person in your broader friend group, which is the best way to handle?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]With #1 you are making everyone else feel awkward and uncomfortable. [/quote]

True, but what if the person in question is making you feel really uncomfortable? Like what if they are doing or saying things that are very hurtful, or single you out in an embarrassing way. Thinking of examples from my own life where there was someone in a group who was generally well liked but who did things that [i]really[/i] upset one member of the group. Like I had a friend once who came from a very privileged background and while it was not intentional on her part, she often said things that were incredibly hurtful to another friend who grew up in really compromised circumstances. Others in the group didn't even notice this stuff because they had never been poor, and also I think because our rich friend was a handy person to know (picked up the tab, had access to things others didn't, would organize ski trips and such).

Should my friend who was offended by the stuff the rich friend use to say have to just suck it up? She kind of split the difference and would complain about this woman to me and to a couple other people who she knew would be more sympathetic. But in the end she did wind up getting kind of pushed out of the group because the rich friend had more social sway. I moved to another city with my husband around the same time and felt bad about the whole thing, but as I faded out of the group generally at the time (buying a house, planning a family, DH going back to school, etc.) and wasn't really in a position to do anything about it.

Anyway, I see the point that speaking up makes people uncomfortable, but that's really not the worst thing in the world and I think sometimes it could be worth it. Really depends on the situation.[/quote]

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