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[quote=Anonymous]Look, the thing is maybe you are really close with your step son. I'm super close with my step kids.  So I get that he might come to you about problems.  However, everyone deals with abuse differently.  If your son doesn't have the maturity to know how to handle someone he loves having a history with abuse, then HE IS NOT READY TO GET MARRIED.  And for him to talk about HER life with his parents instead of her shows that his loyalty is not with her.

This issue is not for the parents to solve.  When my children started going off to college, I switched from "It sounds like you need to ..." to instead saying "Okay, what's your plan for handling that?"  Because they're becoming adults.  And if your stepson is adult enough to get married, he should be adult enough to have difficult and honest conversations directly with the woman he wants to marry.  You don't need to know what she did during her gap year. Unless she killed someone or robbed a bank.  She's obviously moved past it.

You need to step back. And encourage your stepson to handle things with his fiancée directly, without involving his parents. "It's not my place to be involved in this." [/quote]

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