Reply to Feeling sad that daughter seems to be gay

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[quote=Anonymous]Mom to a queer 17 year old who came out to us when they were 12. We've recently revisited some of these issues (child is gender non conforming so there was a second coming out process). Our child tells us: just say you love them. Nothing else. Not "this will be hard for me, this will take time, this is a concept I need to better understand" etc. You can and will think those things, work through them, and/or even discuss them/work them through with your kid. But not when she comes out to you.

I agree wi PPs that you might want to consider taking this up with your therapist. One of the grandparents in our family struggles with our child's queerness and has had some really notable comments that my child will *never* forget, including one that focused on exactly your issue around weddings. One of the PPs nailed it - what's your long game? Do you want to be the person who failed to be there emotionally for your daughter? This grandparent in our family, btw, is the only person in a very far flung network - people of multiple Christian backgrounds, means, & political viewpoints - who said anything remotely unsupportive while also saying "I love you no matter what." And, like a PP said, my DC has certainly noted it. Coming out is a big deal. [/quote]

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