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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]this is about as productive as the sahm vs wohm tired, old debate.  no one side is right.  get off your high horses.[/quote]

THe difference is in this debate only one side is judging the other. In the SAHM vs WOHM the judging contest is mutual.

I don't think moms who take the epidural give a shit or feel guilty about it. It's the ones who think they deserve recognition or validation for having gone without that set the tone.

I even know moms who opted for a vanity C... Personally I do judge that as it just seems lazy. But, not the moms who are realistic to know they may want pain medication.[/quote]

Oh brother! Seriously? I had a drug-free childbirth. I have never once bragged about it or, for that matter, brought it up unless somebody directly asked. The instances where I've mentioned it have been either if someone asked me directly about my childbirth, in a conversation like this one, where someone else brings up natural childbirth specifically, or in cases where someone assumes I've had an epidural, or where someone attacks natural childbirth or presumes that folks who choose natural childbirth are weird, or just want to prove something, or are strange for not taking the pain meds (like the OP here has done). For instance, I was once in a conversation, before a meeting at work, believe it or not, where a woman made a joke like "well, you know, have a kid and you get used to needles. I never thought I'd love a needle in my spine but I learned to love it! People who want to do things the hard way drive me crazy. ___ can probably back me up on that one!" (I had just had a child). So, I just mildly said "actually, I'm one of those "do it the hard way" people, I guess, I went med free." The woman was like "oh. Well, you are welcome to tolerate that torture if you want, we have pain medication now, so I guess I just don't get why." I kind of wanted to explain myself, to discuss the multiple reasons why *I* chose what I chose but I decided not to say anything more, mainly because of the venue. But you're really wrong, PP, to think that only one side judges the other. I think there are some people who have med-free childbirths who do judge, or who think they earned a badge of honor, just like there are some people who think that folks are CRAZY for even considering it, or just assume out of ignorance that it's some "I want to be a hero" mentality when it's simply someone choosing what they feel is right for their situation. Just look at the OP of this thread for evidence of that ignorance and judgment. She assumes that because her birth was painful, that everyone suffers this same "torture." And that anyone not taking advantage of pain meds is some strange throwback to medieval times or something. That is just incorrect - it's very incorrect. And those of us who have HAD the full natural childbirth experience, which involves pain relief, just not drug-related pain relief, naturally want to speak up and say "hey, just saying, it does not have to be that way. My experience was different."

I have learned that when talking about childbirth, it is best to simply keep silent about the details. If somebody asks, though, I'm not going to pretend I had an epidural or a medicalized childbirth because I did not. I am happy with and confident about the choice I made, and if someone is interested enough to ask or assume, I'll discuss my choice and the reasoning behind it.

That is way different from judging.

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