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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Ok, here's a question..groups  and  cliques

Where are  you? I'm not an outcast,  or loner,  but  I am never in "the clique." I have friends, but if a group  forms,  that's it for me, even if it's not my choice.

[/quote]

Interesting question. I've actually been a part of a number of groups, some of which could be considered a clique. But I'm always the weird one. Always. Usually the reason I'm in the group is that I have one, maybe two, close friends who are in the group and they keep inviting me to everything because they are very committed to group culture. And I go because I want to please my friend and I really, really try to just fit in and be normal. And it NEVER works. People don't hate me, they just think I'm weird.

Well, that's not totally true. On one occasion a couple people in the group did decide that they hated me, and it was a terrible experience. Nothing quite like being ostracized from a group you never really meant to join in the first place. That was actually traumatic for me in a social/mental sense because outright rejection is really, really hard for me to take. It took me years to get over and even now, when I'm reminded of it, I have this deep sense of shame and misery that can take a bit to shake off. I guess that's my perfectionism and sensitivity to criticism coming out.

But usually I just feel sort of awkward and eventually fade out gently. A big reason I leave groups is because sometime people are really into how offbeat I am and they get excited about me being their "weird" friend. This is a really awful dynamic because it's basically someone who has assigned you a role as like their tertiary friend. When that happens I get out fast because I'm not set dressing in someone's personal drama.[/quote]

I think group think in anything,  or however it happens, is an issue for an INFJ. Everything is eclectic...[/quote]

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