Reply to First year of baby's life: visiting grandparents?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]don't fall for the guilt trip! let them come to u!![/quote]

Always and forever?  Once you have a child you no longer have any obligation to the people who GAVE BIRTH TO YOU? I understand not wanting to travel very much (or at all) during the first few months.  But, traveling with a six month old is easier than traveling with a toddler (or a toddler AND a baby, which is usually how it works.) I say travel now and build up some good will for later when it really will be much harder.

How is it a guilt trip for people to point out that life involves engaging in recipricol relationships in which both parties give and take?  Ask them to come (on a specific weekend and plan a specific event i.e. "Its Baby's first trip to the zoo and we want you to be part of it.") AND offer to go (maybe for a specific event that you pick i.e "Dad's birthday is next month. We wanted to come up and celebrate for the day.")

For those of you who won't travel to see family, have you just given up on being part of an extended, multi-generational family unless that family agrees to revolve entirely around you? [/quote]

I think you're really oversimplifying things. Yes, it would be great to share the travel burden equally, but that's often easier said than done. Travel is expensive, and so are babies, particularly if any kind of childcare is involved - I know the price of daycare has greatly reduced the funds we have available to spend on trips. Time off is also scarce for many people - I borrowed advance leave as part of my maternity leave, and it took me a full year to pay it back and build up a little vacation time. Not everyone is blessed with an easy baby, and I can fully understand families who choose not to travel because they're having such a hard time with sleep or reflux or whatever other issues might be going on.

I love my extended family, but I have a hard time going into debt booking airline tickets and it's pretty tough to arrange for travel when the leave bank is tapped out. I don't expect our relatives to go into debt visiting us either, so that means we do a lot of Skype and talking on the phone.  [/quote]

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