Reply to First year of baby's life: visiting grandparents?

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Reply to "First year of baby's life: visiting grandparents?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]I'm the poster you are quoting. My parents do come all the time and do tons of childcare. We have left our own kids (now school age) kids with my parents for a week at at time. But, my great-grandmother was in her late seventies at the time and found the kids (toddlers) too much to handle. My point to the OP was maybe this was something to look at. (It sounds like it isn't the case for her.)

I do think that some people find kids to be hard to handle and just don't seek out time with them. Its just a personality thing. Some people also get more excited when the baby stage is over and the kids are more interesting and interactive.[/quote]

I think it's a different situation with respect to the kids' grandparents vs. great-grandparents.  I certainly wouldn't expect my 86-year-old great-grandmother to take care of my kids or want to do so for any extended period of time.  But as you note, that's not the situation here.

However, I disagree with your comment to the extent that it implies that, with respect to any able-bodied kids' grandparents, this is a legitimate reason that they might not want to do their share of the visits or give a guilt trip if you don't pack up the family and visit them on a regular basis.  We go visit my parents (1,100 miles away) 3-4 times a year, and it's the best vacation my husband and I get because we can sleep late, go out to a movie, etc.  They also come visit us 3-4 times a year, though I think they'd rather see us on their own turf (bigger house, no cats).  If they did not come to visit, and if us shlepping to their house wasn't totally worth it for all of us in terms of the time they spend with the kids, I would have no problem with saying, "OK, we'll come visit once a year; otherwise, if you want to see us, make an effort."  That's pretty much what I do with my totally able-bodied but self-centered MIL.

I agree that there "are some people find kids to be hard to handle and just don't seek out time with them."  I think when those people are grandparents (who don't just magically become grandparents; these kids are the children of their children), it's unacceptable.  To them I would think (and I do with my MIL), get over yourself and grow up. [/quote]

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