Reply to First year of baby's life: visiting grandparents?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]When my sister's kids were little my parents visited pretty often with my grandmother (so the kid's great-grandmother.) The situation isn't quite the same because she was in her seventies at the time, but she finally told my mother that she didn't want to go again because every time they went, my sister and her husband would hand the kids over and use the time to get stuff done (squeeze in a little work, run errands, clean the house.) My grandmother felt like she was stuck in the house with the kids all day and they were too much for her to take.

Might your parents feel like when they come, you don't really make it about them having quality time with the baby, but have them serving as babysitters while you do other things? If you pitch it to them as a "visit" but you are really asking for "childcare" they might not really want to come. [/quote]

Your sister and her husband would hand the kids over to the grandparents, or the great-grandmother?  If the latter, I guess that's inappropriate, but if it's the former, I have to say that spending time with their grandchildren should be the grandparents' pleasure.  Why else are they coming to visit, or want you to come to visit, if not to spend time with the kids?  When my parents come to visit or we come there, it is expected that they will bear a fair amount of the childcare load while we (DH and I) get a break from the kids.  Goodness knows, my parents wouldn't come to visit nearly as much if it were just to see me and my husband.

My husband's mom feels the way your grandmother does, and comes to visit about once a year even though she's retired.  Frankly I think she (my MIL) is self-centered and childish, and I feel no compunction about visiting her only when my husband mandates it, which is about once every two years.[/quote]

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