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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's going to be decided for her at some point, this man isn't going to stay with her.  He's already told her he doesn't think they want the same things, plus he has no intentions of having kids with her. I suspect he will still be looking while she wastes more time with him.

I'm not sure she has time to have kids with someone else at 38. And I suspect he's been making excuses all along as to why...they should wait.  I would be livid that he stole that time from me and me having my family. After the cheating I would stop all birth control and let nature take over. His wants would no longer be above my own, and I would put myself first. Meaning having at least 2 kids while I was fertile enough.  I look at it like this, you can always find another man if he bails at some point, but you'll always have your kids for life.

Plus she could have kids with another guy in 2 years, but whose to say that relationship would work. I've seen that happen plenty, so that would be my advice OP...[/quote]

Those kids would be dual citizens too.  Not bad.[/quote]

Yes I was thinking the same thing. Her best bet is to pretend to forgive him, start trying to get pregnant. With what OP posted that would be a win win for her. He'll get over it...just like she got over his cheating. Women never regret having their kids, but often regret the men whether it's 1st or 2nd marriages. He already made all these commitments to her, now he has to keep his word. How I see it.[/quote]

NP who had 2 kids with a cheater. 2 decades later, I really regret choosing to have my kids with such a poor Dad.  The same characteristics that make a guy a cheater also make him a crappy dad. It has been painful to them and hard for me to watch their dysfunctional relationship with him. I wish I had valued myself more and understood better how their future happiness would be diminished by having such a crappy Dad. [/quote]

Many men who don't cheat are lousy fathers. My friend divorced her husband because he refused to do anything child related. He couldn't take the 9 mo olds crying and ask the babysitter to extend her hours, lol. OP's friend waited too long imo.

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