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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Good male role models[/quote]
This is my problem. My son has a father who is a great dad but very self absorbed type, mediocre husband. It’s easy to get along with him if he’s in a good mood otherwise he’s really self centered 
I hate that my son watches us argue and we have no other men as really close role models for him. My dad was great and my don and he were close but he passed away recently. I don’t know whether to just try to always keep peace in front of  my son, or stand up for myself with my husband or show my don that sort of behavior has consequences and is really not okay.[/quote]

So, I'm a Dad.  and honestly, I think I'm a pretty good one.

But if your kids father is not the best role model, then you need to find other role models.

For example, I coach multiple sports teams for my kids and was a scout pack leader for my son's pack.

the first two years I was a scout leader, I would get a little annoyed with some of the boys that wanted ALL of my attention.  Same when I coached soccer and little league.  there were always some boys that tried to get all of my attention.

Then I realized, these boys were starved for attention from a responsible adult male.  And my mindset switched from using this as an opportunity to spend more time with my sons to a chance to hopefully help show these boys how real men behave: with compassion and love and patience.

I still take that role seriously because I want those boys to see my example.

so it's out there.  And you have to make sure your son has time with those men.

And its not about having BIG conversations about what a man is.  It's about example.  It's about seeing your coach treat the one girl on the team with the same respect.  It's about seeing your pack leader defer to the den leader who is a woman.

It's about the coach acknowledging and letting a player "cry" when they are hurt and NOT telling them to 'rub a little dirt on it.'  Or having the coach recognize and validate a players feelings when they strike out 4 times in a game.

It's witnessing these little examples over and over again that makes a boy turn into a good man.[/quote]

Just want to say that you're awesome!!! [/quote]

Thank you :)

The extra layer on top of my whole approach is that (unfortunately), I look like your typical toxic male.  I'm a big guy and I'm into weight-lifting, and I love tattoos.  One of my teams from last year called me John Cena with tattoos.

So people see me and they expect me to behave very differently.  Which is why I feel its even more important that I try to demonstrate that those kindness qualities are universal.  [/quote]

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