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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Good male role models are important, but so are female role models. You have to humanize yourself. You're someone your sons love. Tell them about your experiences honestly. I mean the ugly stuff, and how it shaped you. My kid knows about sexual assaults and abortions and abusive relationships along with the good stuff and accomishments. There is no such thing as "those women." We can all be those women.

Talk about how a good partner or girlfriend/boyfriend is clear with you about their boundaries, and praise good and clear communication when they engage in it.

Talk about, specifically, how to approach someone physically. Sometimes young guys forget that they are suddenly physically imposing, and need reminding about personal space, not inadvertently blocking an egress, not sneaking up on someone from behind.

If you're white, talk about racism. Talk about specifics, what you screwed up, what you learned, how to do better. E.g., how to act in a car if you are pulled over, especially if friends of color are in there with you. [/quote]
How should a white boy act if they are pulled over with a friend who happens to be black? I’m a female, but never did anything differently as a teenager and was pulled over at least once with friends in the car of all different skin colors. Different part of the country though,Southern California.[/quote]

PP you're responding to. As a white person, I felt like I *kind of* knew, but since I couldn't escape my own lens here, I spitballed this one with some trusted BIPOC friends (key words here...not acquaintances) who were willing once my kid reached driving age. Acknowledging that no group of people are a monolith, this is what I heard: be polite, don't challenge, hands visible, ask permission before reaching for wallet, etc. Do not carry or let anyone else in your car carry any controlled or illegal substances. Don't even let them in your car. Do not get huffy with an officer. This one's not about driving per se, but still important: do not leave the scene if you are in a group and are stopped. [/quote]

The tl;dr was mostly being cognizant that the stakes are higher for your friends, so act accordingly and don't do anything that increases their risk. [/quote]

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