Reply to If there was a golden/favored child in your family, how did they turn out as adults?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Older sister, middle child.

She is now a perfectionist with a lot of anxiety, and a fixer/meddler who is always trying to get the middle of what people are doing to make it "right" (not ethically right, but right and perfect as she sees fit - even if others are happy).

She is independent and very self sufficient, but also critical of others.

She used to severely, severely project her issues and anxieties on me, but I will not take it anymore and will call her out on it. This tendency of hers have lessened over the years due to my refusal to put up with it.
  [/quote]

Oof, this is so much like my sister and my mother, both golden children. Except my sister is not very independent. But I also had to learn how to just walk away from her meddling. It was hard because it comes off so confident -- she just makes pronouncements about the way people should act and dress and organize their lives and there is no room in what she says for variation. But now I can just leave it be and live my life how I want.

The harder part was learning to stop engage with this personality type elsewhere. Even after I'd figured out how to deal with my sister, I kept almost seeking out people with the same personality and then getting drawn into that dynamic. I have had a lot "best" friends who were this same golden child type. I have finally learned enough about myself and my patterns to recognize it. But wow did this follow me deep into adulthood.

I frequency with which I encounter parental favorites with this personality indicates to me that having a favorite child isn't great for that kid. Unless your goal is "controlling personality" but why would you want that?[/quote]

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