Reply to Staying together for kids, do you plan for future?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't understand why people say staying together is a bad idea where there is no animosity or yelling and just a drifting apart.  I may consider splitting up once kids are out of the house just so we can each find joy for our second act.  But I love providing an intact family for my kids.  Even if we split, spouse and I will still be on good terms.[/quote]

If it is affection-less and sexless too and no time together as part of the "drifiting apart" then you are showing a bad example of what a marriage should be. If you are still acting like a family, sleeping togehter and show affection, then okay, stay married, I guess. But your kids are going to think you lied to them about their childhood when you divorce when they are adults and wonder why you did that. [/quote]

divorcing when there is no blatant arguing or abuse in the house is also a bad example of what marriage should be.[/quote]

I agree, at least it’s not worse than divorcing. I plan in leaving after the kids are out of the house. But I have many reasons, I don’t want to leave the family home which is likely have to do, I think it’s important to have a family unit, we play games together, have movie nights, go on vacation together.  We don’t always get along but we can for the sake of the kids. As for them noticing, sure they see us arguing but I think the benefits outweigh divorce. Also to each their own, everyone’s circumstances are different.  As for planning for the future, I’m saving for retirement more aggressively as his retirement is more than double mine. I discussed moving near my sister or my bff who are both unmarried for retirement. [/quote]

My ex and I divorced the year after the kids left.  I initiated it.  I remarried and he is in a great long term relationship. We married very young. We are still friends.  Sadly, I became a youngish widow this year.  No more marriage for me.[/quote]

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