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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Growing up, did you family do things for friends, neighbors and the community? 
I'm talking about organizing or participating in meal trains for deaths/new moms, stepping in to help if a tragedy occurred with a neighbor, helping an elderly person your family knows with someone that may not be able to do, hosting showers at your home, volunteering for the school or sports team you are involved in? Being involved on boards or volunteering in the community.

And secondly, do you do this kind of thing now?

If not, why not?[/quote]

I think you first need to examine these things and see how you define helping out. We as a family donate to worthy causes, give to food banks, visit friends in the hospital and offer to get a meal. That said, helping an elderly person can turn into enabling. My mother thinks her neighbors will just fill in where we can't so she doesn't need assisted living. Their "generosity" could turn into her taking advantage and creating a dangerous situation for her and stressful situation for us when we are ultimately responsible for her well being.

Some people who don't have the time or money to help with food chains are too embarrassed to say no. You could be doing something cruel to a friend in trouble to help another friend. We offer to bring meals and do other things, but would never impose on others and make them feel pressured to the same. Being on a board is work, but also a social thing. If it's your cup of tea, great, but I don't judge anyone who doesn't want it.

My parents encouraged us to do volunteer work when we were self-absorbed teenagers and that was a great thing. it helped me step outside of myself, see how fortunate I was and it made me feel better to do for someone other than myself.

I think it's all about modeling for your kids giving back can be truly enjoyable and rewarding and you need your way to do it. There is no right way, but make sure you are truly helping and not creating problems. For example, we have a neighbor who hit hard times and someone started a go fund me. He hit hard times due to addiction and was not getting help. All those generous people figured out they were funding addiction.[/quote]

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